Who's Driving the Bus?

No, really! I realize I've just started to wax on all poetic about spirituality and business and that now I'm posing a deeply spiritual question but I really. need. to. know.

We are a mere seven weeks (seven weeks!) away from arguably the biggest activation and moment of my life and I'm lacking a key component: an RV driver.

And yes, 70 hours of sleep is probably how much I've lost stressing about this very question. 

It's not that I haven't begun looking and asking and thinking about it. Or that there aren't a few lovely prospects, it's just that I've been afraid of the weight of it. It's a pretty big deal. We're going to be traversing the US, over 10,000 miles and 28 cities in something the size of a small house. It will be carrying not only my life savings, products and art and bits and pieces from companies and arts I'm grateful to, but also a bit of my heart. It will be driving around to deliver this mission that I believe fiercely in: an uplift for mother's nourishing their babies. 

The RV will also have to make it in and out of cities like New York and DC and park in small places and maneuver tight corners. 

Whomever drives it will not only need to be a good and responsible driver, but also someone comfortable with close quarters and a whole lot of boob designs. They will need to be someone oozing patience for me as I figure this out on the fly, navigating the sure to be present bumps, and try and keep my shit together for a matter of three months. They also have to like Justin Timberlake.

That, is no short order. 

There are people considering it. There are ways for us to patch it together and have a few different drivers to share the load. There are likely options. 

But it feels like such a giant ask, and I've already been asking for so much in so many places, I have to be honest that I've shied away from it. And likely, it should have been the very first question I was asking and sorting. I know this; I've known it all along.

What I also know, or rather am learning, is that you're not always ready to ask every question. What may seem like the moment to make a move for all practical purposes, might not seem so in your gut. And there is reason to listen to that. I think the universe has a way of weighing in on these things. 

I've already seen this unlikely hesitation serve this trip. We were going to go from California to Maine, but I was dragging my feet in locking in the dates and destination path. I was, of course, terrified of the massive undertaking to figure out distance and time and schedules, but for some reason, I just wasn't ready. 

Everyone else was. They kept asking for the dates and the cities. We need to plan. We need the press release. We need to know. 

But I didn't know. 

And then one day, I did. An opportunity arose that made sense for us and yet it meant being in New York in May for The Baby Show, thus flipping the direction of the trip. Soon after, another opportunity made sense, being in Boston at the end of April and kicking things off at the MIT Make the Breast Pump Not Suck Hackathon. What could be more right than that?

So there it was. The universe had spoken. Maine to California was the new plan and within a few weeks, I had the dates and destinations mostly set. (I also had a rare, decent night's sleep for once.) The change brings with it other hurdles, but it works for us.

This is just one example of the way things tend to be turning out. I'm seeing it, but I'm also being reminded of it again and again. So I'm trying to take a deep breath and go with it.

This was, in fact, my email note from the Universe this morning:

“True, you can’t see what you can’t see, Amy, you can’t hear what you can’t hear, and you can’t feel what you can’t feel. But still, you can know that you’re not alone, that you’re adored, and that absolutely everything will continue to work out for your very best, as it always has. 

It’s built into your DNA -

The Universe”

I'll be honest that I can say all this out loud and keep repeating the driver will come, the driver will come, but I still have to fend off endless panic attacks.

I still have to keep the blind faith. And I still have to find a driver.

If you know of anyone who fits this ridiculously unique description, send them - or RV universe vibes - my way. x